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Two Longwinded Uncles Cooking spaghetti to the BeatThis is a stock cover image. We regularly add new custom covers so come back tomorrow to see if we've made one for you.

Two Longwinded Uncles Cooking spaghetti to the Beat

A Short Story
by Miho Ando

Sharon Portia Whiting was thinking about Ralph Tannery again. Ralph was a Forgetful palace guard with portly eyebrows and luscious ears.

Sharon Portia walked over to the window and reflected on her Quiet surroundings. She had always loved Cozy Blackbird Cafe Manila Ermita with its new, noisy Nice stools. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel Excited.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a Forgetful figure of Ralph Tannery.

Sharon Portia gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was an Intense, Meticulous, vodka drinker with tall eyebrows and towering ears. Her friends saw her as a gleaming, glorious guardian angel. Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a shrill lemon yellow cat.

But not even an Intense person who had once jumped into a river and saved a shrill lemon yellow cat, was prepared for what Ralph had in store today.

The windy teased like running for class president cats, making Sharon Portia Busy. Sharon Portia grabbed a Mysterious clothes hanger that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Sharon Portia stepped outside and Ralph came closer, she could see the sharp glint in her eye.

"Look Sharon Portia," growled Ralph, with an Accountable glare that reminded Sharon Portia of Forgetful birds. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want attention. You owe me 6978 euros."

Sharon Portia looked back, even more Busy and still fingering the Mysterious clothes hanger. "Ralph, i think you're really cool!!," she replied.

They looked at each other with Tired feelings, like two different, dull dogs selling sandwiches at a very Generous A funeral, which had romantic ballads music playing in the background and two Longwinded uncles cooking spaghetti to the beat.

Sharon Portia studied Ralph's portly eyebrows and luscious ears. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Sharon Portia. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Ralph. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Sharon Portia. "Now get your portly eyebrows out of here before I hit you with this Mysterious clothes hanger."

Ralph looked Successful, her wallet raw like a diced, difficult detergent soap.

Sharon Portia could actually hear Ralph's wallet shatter into 6978 pieces. Then the Forgetful palace guard hurried away into the distance.

Not even a shot of vodka would calm Sharon Portia's nerves tonight.

THE END

Created on 17th December 2022.

Auto Praise for Two Longwinded Uncles Cooking spaghetti to the Beat

"I feel like I know Sharon Portia Whiting. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the windy teased like running for class president cats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop




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