Two Eldritch Uncles Flaming to the Beat

Arx Absentia had always loved insane Bay Twelve with its tan, testy threads. It was a place where he felt crazed.

He was a dwarfy, liberal, water drinker with tall tentacles and excessively tall beard. His friends saw him as a low, lazy line-art picture. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a grieving grisha5. That's the sort of man he was.

Arx walked over to the window and reflected on his liberal surroundings. The spambot teased like posting Escaped Lunatics.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Bay Twelve. Bay was a leftist den of debauchery with vigorous tentacles and pale beard.

Arx gulped. He was not prepared for Bay.

As Arx stepped outside and Bay came closer, he could see the blue glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want total surrender," Bay bellowed, in a conservative tone. He slammed his fist against Arx's chest, with the force of 2688 kittens. "I frigging love you, Arx Absentia."

Arx looked back, even more overjoyed and still fingering the eldritch signature. "Bay, lET ME GOOOO," he replied.

They looked at each other with buoyant feelings, like two small, stupid spambots spamming at a very commie cakeday, which had metal music playing in the background and two eldritch uncles flaming to the beat.

Suddenly, Bay lunged forward and tried to punch Arx in the face. Quickly, Arx grabbed the eldritch signature and brought it down on Bay's skull.

Bay's vigorous tentacles trembled and his pale beard wobbled. He looked ephemeral, his body raw like an annoyed, alert avatar.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Bay Twelve was dead.

Arx Absentia went back inside and made himself a nice drink of water.